


in between the gaps

by Yuuzel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Azumane Asahi, Amnesia, Angst, Healing, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Memory Loss, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25133473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuuzel/pseuds/Yuuzel
Summary: There was someone in Koutarou's apartment who almost looked and almost moved like his partner of three years. But they were just off.Their hair was long, but they tied it back tightly, instead of tucking it behind their ears and letting it fall. They walked just as carefully, but less certain, a bit tenser.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 18
Collections: SportsFest 2020





	in between the gaps

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [take my life and erase it](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25006120) by [sugaplumvisions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugaplumvisions/pseuds/sugaplumvisions). 



When Asahi first had been released from the hospital, Koutarou had not known how to deal with them, or the feelings he still had for them.  
He had been prepared for Asahi not knowing who Koutarou was.  
What Koutarou had not been prepared for was not knowing who Asahi was.

There was someone in Koutarou's apartment who almost looked and almost moved like his partner of three years. But they were just off.  
Their hair was long, but they tied it back tightly, instead of tucking it behind their ears and letting it fall. They walked just as carefully, but less certain, a bit tenser.

Koutarou had told Asahi they barely knew him. And now Koutarou barely knew Asahi.

Slowly, Koutarou got more used to this old, new person. It felt a bit less surprising when he heard their steps in the hallway, he started automatically reaching for a different brand of cereal instead of texting them first.

And even more slowly, Koutarou found little ways for Asahi and him to enjoy each other's company instead of Koutarou trying desperately not to cry and Asahi feeling guilty.

Koutarou showed Asahi the poetry book he had gifted them for their second anniversary. He could still clearly remember the look on their face when they had read a certain poem for the first time. It was a look of understanding, a look of peace, and of being understood.  
Now, their eyes widened at every line, they excitedly turned the pages and sometimes, they let out a small giggle.  
Asahi's giggle was still the same as Koutarou remembered and hearing it again after so many months let a huge weight fall off his shoulders.

Another piece of joy was watching Asahi get to know Cheeto again. Even during their best times as a couple, Koutarou had always known that he was only second to the small orange cat.  
Koutarou got to watch Asahi fall in love with the annoying animal all over again. Sometimes they just stood there, watching Cheeto lie on the floor with a smile on their face.

Cheeto was definitely coping with the new situation the best. For him, Asahi coming back did not mean dealing with a whole bunch of new problems and change, it just meant that his beloved human was back. Sure, Asahi's lap was probably a bit smaller, but what did that really matter to a cat. It was still just as warm.

Asahi was just as warm as before. Their eyes, their smile, and their shaking hands when they let Koutarou hold them.

Their voice.

“Koutarou,” Asahi called out from the living room.

“What is it? Are you hungry?” Koutarou was currently rummaging through the kitchen, in desperate search of a snack.

“Can you please come here?” Their voice sounded breathless.

As quickly as he could, Koutarou ran into the living room. “Is everything okay?”

Asahi was sitting on the couch, their eyebrows furrowed.  
“I think,” they said slowly, “I've watched this movie before.”

It was not the first time Asahi remembered something, but it still managed to excite Koutarou. There seemed to be no system or rules to it, no guarantee that one day everything would come back.  
He told himself not to expect anything, but every day, Koutarou waited for Asahi to remember how to love Koutarou, how to be the person Koutarou loved.

He sat down next to Asahi and watched the movie with them. It seemed vaguely familiar, Koutarou remembered the music and the main character, but he couldn't recall the plot. This situation was familiar.  
Sitting next to Asahi, hearing this music, on this couch.  
Watching the movie they had shared their first kiss to.

Not for the first time this week, or month, or year, Koutarou felt his nose tickle the way it always did before he started crying.  
Maybe Asahi felt sad, too, maybe they would ask him to hold their hand again.

Koutarou felt Asahi's hand brush against his and he stilled, fearing that any type of movement would destroy the moment. But even when he started shaking from his sobs, Asahi still firmly grasped his hand.  
They held it until his upper lip was swollen and his tears had dried and the movie had long reached its ending.

And Koutarou thought, that maybe, even if Asahi wouldn't remember their first kiss, they still remembered the way they felt that evening. Excited, nervous, happy.  
With Asahi's hand warm around his, Koutarou felt himself imagining that soon, they would hold hands again, without one of them needing to be sad for it. He looked forward to it.

**Author's Note:**

> they haven't found their old way back to each other completely, but maybe they can make a find a new one.


End file.
